Here is another batch of writer notes on Sorcery 101. If you want to read ahead on these got ahead on these head over to my patreon.
Chapter 4 part 1
First multi-chapter story. The original cover was kinda everyone just standing around so in the redo I changed it pretty drastically. I wanted to push some ominousness to the cover since Danny and Brad are damsels in distress the whole chapter.
This page is mostly unchanged dialog wise. Brad’s uncomfortable talking about anything sexy. Ally’s on her own way it comes time to give Rebecca the talk. I mostly upped my background game cause I actually like drawing backgrounds. Putting in stuff like the pigeons and random folks is fun.
page 75 – 76
And by having random folks on the street makes it less obvious the two wolf demons are gonna jump em in panel 1. It allows for a nicer build up. The dialog got cut down a little. The part that got cut is a joke about Brad eating at lot, but there were other opportunities to show that more naturally. Brad and Danny getting grabbed is pretty straight forward.
page 77 – 78
Seth’s house is a sty. But you can see the demon skull on his book shelf in panel 5. We also meet Tommy. I never really found I a place to explain Tommy. But he’s been Seth’s side-kick for all most of Seth’s time as a vampire. Seth is listening to Mother’s Little Helper by the Rolling Stones while he paints. That’s what he does when not murdering folks. In the newer version since the background is more detailed you can see some rolled up canvas and in later pages paints left out.
I changed Seth’s response to Ally’s question. Originally he said it’s a sick and twisted assumption, but while doing redos I figured Seth probably doesn’t give that much of a shit about Ally’s opinion and he’s probably been hearing it since Anne Rice books came out.
Page 79 – 80
Scene got condensed a little so some of the page after these two got move into these. I took out Seth getting to their how super fast, because he’s not THAT easily bribed. Also Ally has known Seth longer than Brad and Danny, so while she knows he isn’t top babysitter material she knows he is up to something that would require being allowed to hang around. So she figures an hour or so isn’t going to get Rebecca hurt.
Page 81 – 82
I cut down Brad and Danny being captured a lot. It was originally 3 pages. Now it’s one. I just kept the details about why Brad and Danny weren’t escaping and the first mention of Alpha Phoenix.
And more of Pat’s terrible apartment. There is no bathroom door. Lots of wholes in the walls. Floor boards don’t line up. He is basically squatting in an abandoned motel, it is weird for a vampire. Also, we get a better look at Pat’s arms and chest. When I learned to draw more body types, Pat was the biggest change. Mages are very organized and have emphasis on being best at monster killing. So he should be in better shape than Danny and Brad. So I gave him the broadest shoulder of the bunch of them.
Also this is first time Ally and Pat meet. I don’t know how make folks picked up on it, but they have the same nose.
Pat is not big on saving werewolves. He is also the exact opposite of Danny’s first teacher Lope. Lope wants to help everyone, where as Pat doesn’t really want to help anyone. It took Seth’s particular brand of charm to get him to teach Danny. Here you get the first hint of Seth being invested with Danny’s sorcery lessons.
Ally takes no shits. She knows Brad is sensitive about werewolfness and isn’t gonna let anyone knock him.
Like I said, Seth wouldn’t hurt Rebecca. However, he is fine with traumatizing her.
page 87 – 88
Exposition time. Vampire powers get better the more people they kill. So Pat slightly stronger than a human cause he’s not a centuries old murderer like Seth. Mage powers run on light magic so they can’t stay in a vampire forever. Pat’s been a vampire for about 90 years.
He learned sorcery so he could defend himself and keep up in a fight. But Ally is used to Danny and Brad as backup and they aren’t much in a fight. Vampire powers Pat does have are super hearing.
page 89 – 91
Ally and Pat are the get shit done squad. Ally knows how to kick ass and take names. Pat does know his sorcery.
Ally took on 4 werewolves at once and only 1 got the better of her. So she did pretty well.
We get Brad’s first change that is shown. Brad isn’t completely in control and never really will be cause he doesn’t like being a werewolf. That’s why hurt Ally is his berserker button. Not all werewolves have that.
Danny is currently the white mage of the group. Shit in a fight but good to have around. This spell he learned from Lope not Pat. So it’s not Latin.
page 94 – 95
While Brad isn’t in full control, his wolf does recognize people. So wolf won’t hurt Ally or Danny. I thought that was important to establish. Like with all the creatures in the Sorcery 101 world are not good or evil by nature. Now while werewolves are dangerous its cause a wild animal is dangerous. They don’t go out of their way to attack humans unless threatened. There is usually something easier to take down. So Wolf Brad is only dangerous when he or his family is threatened.
While doing redos, I cut out Brad throwing up cause it was messing with the pacing of the scene.
Pat also doesn’t care that Brad is naked killing demons is more important. He is so annoyed that no one care about killing demons but him.
page 96 – 99
Seth is pro Brad wolfing out and murdering everyone. Also Danny’s dog is growling at Seth cause it can sense evil. And the scars on Brad’s chest are cause super healing doesn’t mean you don’t scar. One is from when Danny shot him. The other is Suzanne attacked him after seeing him get chatty with Seth.
Seth’s child care tactics are based on least amount of effort possible.
And to go back to Ally being quit to go on the attack when Pat insulted Brad. We see why here.
And here we see what Pat was up to in the mean time. End with dead wolf demons.
That’s all for this chapter. I originally wrote it November 2005 then redid is late 2009.