Read Sorcery 101 writer notes Chapter 5 part 1

Here is another batch of writer notes on Sorcery 101. If you want to read ahead on these got ahead on these head over to my patreon.

Chapter 5 part 1

Title page

Pretty simple cover again. Mary’s coloring really does most of the heavy lifting here.

In general for this chapter was the one that made me start sitting down and writing out a script. It ran much much longer than I expected. It was originally supposed to only be one part. But it sorta spun out of control.

page 230

And we introduce Cal and Rita. This was originally two pages but there wasn’t much dialog or even mood set by it being that long. So it was safely cut to 1. Cal isn’t being an angsty weirdo who stays up all night. He doesn’t/can’t sleep. So gonna pass the time some how and watching out the window is less creepy than watching Rita sleep.

page 231 – 234

Danny’s second doomed date with Mel. Later Mel says she thought Danny was joking when he talked about weird stuff in his life. You can kinda say why.

And Cal knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. As Ally said later, he used to do this to her A LOT in high school.

page 235 – 236

I always like having ground people react to what the main characters are doing. So poor toy store clerk.

And this is first chapter that have some family back story for a character. I wanted to give each character different levels of interaction with/getting along with their extended family. And Ally’s comes up first because she grew up in super natural stuff. She doesn’t really know anyone that isn’t.

This scene used to include Ally telling Brad they had to go and a joke about Brad not wanting Rebecca to buy a red lightsaber. Those both got cut cause bit too fillery.

page 237 – page 239

And Cal spills the beans on supernatural stuff cause he doesn’t give a shit about humans knowing supernatural stuff is real.

Danny gets a nice bonding moment about with Mel out of it though.

page 240

Rebecca treats King like a younger sibling rather than a dog. It does not always have the best results.

page 241 – 246

Ally ignores a lot of supposed Mage rules that she didn’t grow up with. Rita ignores them too but her’s just resulted in a lack of training rather than fights with Cal.

Cal asking Danny how he can help. I tried to have Cal tower over Danny in the whole scene. Cal is hundred percent correct in his assessment of Danny’s skills. But he just doesn’t want Danny to go cause it taints his mission.

Dialog here got cleaned up a lot. There was too much info dumping that didn’t matter.

page 247 – 250

This is a conversation Ally and Cal have had multiple times. Part of her 0 to snarling with Pat earlier is cause she’s used to this. Cal’s I don’t understand social ques is clearly a lie cause otherwise he wouldn’t know how to get under Ally’s skin so quick.

And that is pure magic in Cal. He doesn’t have any organs. He’s just a wrapper for magic. Making him nearly invincible but he doesn’t eat, feel, have sex, or anything. His presenting gender is determined by the mage he works with closest to. Angels are supposed to take the opposite gender of their mage. So Cal will only present as male while working with Rita and Ally. He worked with Rita and Ally’s fathers before that and presented as female then. In the last chapter with him in it you see him when he can’t construct clothing for himself, there is no belly button, nipples, or genitals.

Also getting blown up by Ally, is easier for him than arguing. Cause as Danny said he grows back, as does what he’s wearing.

page 251 – 253

Ally has quite the temper. It’s no wonder Rebecca hits people.

Those three panels are where Danny says hi to Pat and Pat slams the door are almost exactly the same in the redo and the original. Humor with a small beat in the middle is some of my favorite.

page 254 – 256

Poor Pat. Anyone can just walk into his house.

Also talking Pat into killing some demons is much easier than talking him into a rescue mission. It kinda a hint about his life pre-vampire.